Seasonal Mental Health Articles | Candlewood Counselling

The January Blues | Newton Abbot

Candlewood — Mon, 05 Jan 2026 19:09:58 +0000

This post was written by Candlewood at Candlewood Counselling, a BACP registered counselling practice in Newton Abbot, Devon.

Understanding the January Blues: Newton Abbot

The fairy lights come down, the bills arrive, and suddenly you’re staring towards February through a grey window, wondering why you feel totally flat

This is January. Not the Instagram version with yoga mats and juice cleanses. The real one, where you’re too tired to care about self-improvement and too broke to pay for a gym membership.

Your body is probably a bit confused. For weeks it filled up on mince pies and stayed up late watching festive telly. Now January has flipped a switch and is expecting normal service to resume. Meanwhile the sun sets at half four and your bank account is wiped out.

What Are the January Blues?

True, it can be about circadian rhythms and serotonin levels—reduced daylight throwing your internal clock out of sync. But it may be also true that you spent December running on fumes and fairy lights, and now your tank is empty.

People call it the January blues -not a diagnosis, but the name we’ve given to that flat, grey feeling that settles in after the decorations come down.

Blue Monday: Myth or Reality?

We hear in the media this idea that the third Monday in January is scientifically the most depressing day of the year. It as a PR stunt for a travel company. The whole thing is manufactured, but that said—people do feel rotten in January. The marketing story doesn’t invalidate the lived experience. You can know Blue Monday is made up and still wake up feeling like soggy wrapping paper.

January Blues vs Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Seasonal Affective Disorder is different. SAD isn’t just feeling a bit down because it’s dark and cold. It’s depression that arrives with the season and leaves when spring does, affecting roughly one in fifteen people here.

The difference: your low mood doesn’t lift after a decent night’s sleep or a walk in what little daylight we get. It settles in like a houseguest who won’t leave. You lose interest in things that usually matter. You oversleep but wake up exhausted. Your brain feels like it’s wading through porridge.

This isn’t about motivation or toughing it out. It’s brain chemistry responding to lack of light. If this sounds familiar, it might be worth talking to your GP. There are treatments—light therapy, talking therapy, medication—that genuinely help.

The Pressure of “New Year, New Me”

January arrives dragging this enormous suitcase of expectations. Lose weight. Get organized. Be productive. Optimize yourself into some shinier, more efficient version of you.

You don’t have to buy into any of that.

You might not need an overhaul. You might just need a break. For many, whilst Christmas may be enjoyable, it’s not relaxing. Spending a month shopping, decorating, cooking, entertaining and showing up as your most festive self can be exhausting. So the pressure to then transform yourself in January when you’re running on empty, can feel crushing. Mind—the mental health charity—recognises this, but the message can get drowned out by the noise of new year fitness and healths transformation programs.

Rest isn’t failure. Slowing down isn’t giving up. Sometimes what you need most is to acknowledge you’re tired and give yourself permission to just… stop.

Practical Ways to Support Your Mental Health in January

Instead of resolutions, maybe try boundaries.

Saying no to things.

Going to bed early without guilt.

Spending an evening doing nothing productive whatsoever.

Winter is a season that asks for dormancy. Trees aren’t frantically trying to grow in January. Hedgehogs aren’t setting goals. You’re an animal too, and the dark months are for conserving energy, not burning through it.

Connection can help more than you’d think. Not forced socializing, but reaching out to someone who gets it. A friend who won’t try to fix you. A counsellor who’ll let you talk without jumping straight to solutions.

When to Seek Support

January is hard. The blues are real even if Blue Monday isn’t. You’re allowed to feel slow and quiet and not particularly optimistic about the year ahead.

If the low feeling persists beyond a couple of weeks. If you’re struggling to function—not just dragging yourself through the day, but genuinely unable to manage basic tasks. If you’re withdrawing from everyone and everything, or if hopelessness starts feeling permanent rather than passing.

Support exists if you need it. Needing it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human, and humans aren’t built to sprint through winter pretending everything’s fine. Counselling services can offer space to untangle what you’re feeling without judgment. This isn’t about ‘fixing’ yourself. It’s about having support while you figure out what you need.

Be kind to yourself in 2026

Samantha x

If you’re looking to untangle challenges your facing and find a path to firmer ground, I offer a counselling in a space that’s professional but human, gentle but honest. Find out more about how I work on About and Counselling Services pages. Or get in touch on Whatsapp

Samantha@ Candlewood Counselling | Counselling in Newton Abbot (TQ12) and online. Contact Samantha here

The January Blues | Newton Abbot was first published on the Candlewood Counselling blog. If you are looking for individual counselling in Newton Abbot or online, visit candlewoodcounselling.co.uk

How to manage the ‘shoulds’ at Christmas

Candlewood — Mon, 22 Dec 2025 09:55:13 +0000

This post was written by Candlewood at Candlewood Counselling, a BACP registered counselling practice in Newton Abbot, Devon.

How to manage the 'shoulds' at Christmas...

The glitter in the high street shop windows on the doesn’t tell the whole story. For some of us, December arrives like a rising tide of ‘shoulds’: You should be happy. You should spend money you don’t have. You should reconcile with people who haven’t earned your time and attention.

It’s heavy, complicated, draining.

Real life is messy

The adverts would have us believe that behind each warmly-lit, cosy-looking window and door, there is a heart-warming Christmas scene, of three generations of family around a turkey. But the truth is often much messier. Maybe this is your first year of silence, of stepping away from family obligations. Maybe you’re navigating the “Phantom Limb” of estrangement—missing a version of a family that never actually existed. Or maybe you’re just exhausted from the performance of ‘getting in the Christmas Spirit’.

You are allowed to reclaim the calendar.

If the thought of a full-blown family production makes you want to hide, shrink the schedule. Your Christmas doesn’t have to be a fortnight of endurance; it can be a single, quiet afternoon. It can be a walk through the Teign Valley where the only noise is the river, or a day where the “traditional roast” is replaced by whatever actually brings you comfort.

Here is how you could draw a line in the Devon frost this year:

The "Silent" Permission

If you are navigating estrangement, the silence isn’t a failure. It’s a boundary you built to stay safe. You don’t owe anyone a seat at your table just because it’s December.

The "1-in-5" Reality

You are allowed to say No.

No to the party you don’t have the energy for. No to the relative who always upsets you. No to spending money you don’t have just to “keep up.” Try to communicate your plans sooner rather than later, early so people know what to expect. Saying something like, “I can only stay for two hours this year” makes things clearer.

Edit the Script

If specific traditions feel like salt in a wound, scrap them. Start a ritual that belongs only to you—one that doesn’t require you to perform “happy” for an audience.

The Cost of ‘Coping’

Financial and emotional strain often peak now. If “making it perfect” is costing you your peace of mind, the price is too high.

A Final thought..

While the lights on the high street may try to convince us everything is sparkling, it’s okay to acknowledge the grey. You aren’t failing at Christmas; you’re succeeding at protecting your own mental health.

Enjoy your peace this Christmas x

If you’re struggling with being estranged from your family at Christmas, you may find my blog post on family estrangement at Christmas useful. Read it here.

Samantha@ Candlewood Counselling | Counselling in Newton Abbot (TQ12) and online. Contact Samantha here

How to manage the ‘shoulds’ at Christmas was first published on the Candlewood Counselling blog. If you are looking for individual counselling in Newton Abbot or online, visit candlewoodcounselling.co.uk

The “Fantasy Family” Trap

Candlewood — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 00:37:18 +0000

This post was written by Candlewood at Candlewood Counselling, a BACP registered counselling practice in Newton Abbot, Devon.

Family Estrangement at Christmas

Are You Missing Them?

Or Are You Missing Who You Wanted Them To Be?

Candlewood Counselling Newton Abbot

The "Fantasy Family" Trap

The first Christmas after you’ve cut family ties or said ‘No More’ – the silence can be deafening. Family estrangement, especially at Christmas, can be hard. You’re missing them. But – what is the ‘them’ that you’re missing?

According to research by the charity Stand Alone, the hardest part of the Christmas period isn’t always missing the actual people—

it’s missing the potential of them.

You might be grieving an ‘Ambiguous Loss’ (a term coined by Dr. Pauline Boss) – a grief without closure. Are you mourning the warm, safe family Christmas you see in adverts—a Christmas you maybe never really had, even when you were with them?

The Pressure of ‘Should’

A Clear Boundary

Removing yourself from a toxic family dynamic is a healthy choice, a clear boundary drawn for your survival. But it can also feel like a flaw you should fix by December 25th.

When you’ve decided to disconnect is when the guilt can scream the loudest. Your brain may try to edit the past, whispering: “Maybe it wasn’t that bad? Maybe I’m the problem?”

Remember Why You Left

But that pressure to “just let it go for Christmas” dismisses the years of hurt that often led to the split.

Remember why you left. Did you walk away to punish them or was it to save yourself?

Sitting with the discomfort of your decision may be be a lot easier than returning to the emotional chaos.

The Strategy: Write A New Script

Even after years of silence, the Christmas holiday can feel like an emotional wave, pulling you back towards what’s familiar, but toxic

The BACP suggests that the key to coping is to plan and create entirely new, non-traditional rituals that suit you.

My advice for the 25th?

Re-write the script.

Create New Rituals

Don’t cook a roast – eat toast if you want. Don’t watch the Queen’s speech if it reminds you of a Christmas tradition. Walk on Dartmoor. Soak in the bath. Sleep till noon.

Write down three things you gain (e.g. peace, safety, sleep) and three things you won’t miss (e.g. anxiety, shame, damage to your chosen family).

Make the day unrecognisable. New rituals can break old spells.

You Don't have To Explain Yourself

Whether you are navigating your first Christmas of being estranged from family, or feeling the pull of a lengthy separation, know this:

The pressure or expectation to ‘make up’ and have ‘the perfect family Christmas’ is external.

The peace you are building is internal.

You are doing the hard work of breaking a cycle. That deserves respect, not judgement.

Remember that a quiet celebration is a valid celebration – and it may be the greatest gift you could give yourself.

Have a peaceful Christmas x

If you often struggle emotionally after the festive season, you might also recognise the experience described in our article on the January blues.

Samantha@ Candlewood Counselling | Counselling in Newton Abbot (TQ12) and online. Contact Samantha here

The “Fantasy Family” Trap was first published on the Candlewood Counselling blog. If you are looking for individual counselling in Newton Abbot or online, visit candlewoodcounselling.co.uk

Does “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” Feel Draining? Tips to Survive Christmas Stress – Newton Abbot

Candlewood — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 10:53:46 +0000

This post was written by Candlewood at Candlewood Counselling, a BACP registered counselling practice in Newton Abbot, Devon.

Tips for managing Christmas Stress

Does “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” Feel Draining?

Tips to Survive Christmas

Candlewood Counselling Newton Abbot

So, let’s be honest for a moment… The adverts tell us this season is all about sparkling tables, perfect families, and unbridled joy. But for many of us, the countdown to Christmas feels like a tightening in the chest. You’re not the Grinch — you’re human.

Why Christmas Can Feel Draining

Christmas has a way of magnifying everything. If you’re grieving, the empty chair at the table feels bigger. If you’re struggling financially, the pressure to buy feels stronger. If your family dynamic is complicated, the obligation to “keep the peace” can be exhausting.
According to the mental health charity Mind, nearly a third of people feel unable to cope with the pressure of Christmas. You aren’t alone in this.

Practical Tips to Manage Festive Stress

Drop the “Perfect”

Real life isn’t a John Lewis advert. The turkey might be dry. The kids might argue. You might feel tired. That’s okay. Lowering expectations isn’t failure; it’s an act of self-care.

Boundaries Are Your Best Friend

You are allowed to say No.

Make Space for Grief

If you are missing someone, trying to force “happiness” over your sadness usually backfires, leaving you feeling under pressure to ‘perform’ happiness. It’s okay to raise a glass to them, cry, or step out of the room for a breather.

Schedule the “Do Nothing” Time

We often schedule every minute of December. Try scheduling some being. A walk in the cold air, ten minutes with a book, or just sitting quietly before heading into the house.

A Final thought..

A final thought: You don’t have to perform joy for anyone else’s benefit if you’re not feeling it. If you just need to get through the next few weeks quietly and gently, that is enough. Look after yourself in the coming weeks x

If you’re feeling stressed and burnt out, visit my page Counselling for Stress for more information about how you may be affected by stress and how counselling can help

If you often struggle emotionally after the festive season, you might also recognise the experience described in my blog post on the January blues.

Samantha@ Candlewood Counselling | Counselling in Newton Abbot (TQ12) and online. Contact Samantha here

Does “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” Feel Draining? Tips to Survive Christmas Stress – Newton Abbot was first published on the Candlewood Counselling blog. If you are looking for individual counselling in Newton Abbot or online, visit candlewoodcounselling.co.uk